Submission or Not? Throughout my relationship with Jim and our path along the Domestic Discipline highway, I've thought about, analyzed and struggled with the term, "submission". Do I consider myself a submissive woman and wife? Sometimes I think I have a concrete answer, and other times I question whether or not submission is part of my reality.
When I look up the term, submission, in the dictionary, or online through Wikipedia, I can get different threads of information that may or not seem relevant to me, since there is no one real definition. The common idea is that it involves the giving of oneself, to another person, in body, mind and spirit, and in doing so, gives control to the recipient. In our relationship, that ‘control’ is assumed by him in matters of decision making, authority and discipline. Ideally, the concept of submission is voluntary and consensual, since force isn’t a concept that is validated by Domestic Discipline.
Submission is based on trust and respect. That one is very easy. I trust Jim with all things and anything and at any time or place. I respect him in many ways; as a man, husband, father, provider, and HoH. I really respect that he is a man with alpha tendencies. In fact, I find that quality very sexy and appealing. Does that mean I’m submissive?
I obey the rules he has for me, as his wife, and for our family. I submit to his authority and try very hard to accept that his decision in matters is final. I submit to his discipline and accept the benefits that spanking has in my own being and our relationship. Sometimes, I do these with some internal struggle and resistance, while others is with calm and grace. Does that mean that I’m submissive but in denial?
I understand that for some women, some of whom I know, they can find submission to be both liberating and exciting and feel anything but diminished by it. I have nothing against, non-dominant men but I am not drawn to them for a life partner. I love the fact that Jim can be an alpha male, in control with confidence in his authority, and capable of enforcing it with kindness, consideration and love. Does loving such a man make him the dominant and me the submissive one?
I think my final decision to the question of submission, is that I don’t know whether or not I would consider it a quality of mine. I submit to his authority because I love him. I submit to his discipline because he loves me.
Maybe, in the end, for us, it doesn’t matter all that much about submission.